Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
