when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
