i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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