I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
