Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
