Pregnant stripper...not hot.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
