Come see our sink grown plant.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
