She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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