i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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