i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
