Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
