I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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