Can i not drive my cunt home
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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