i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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