Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
