My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
And then he peed in my hair
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