And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
