All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
