party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
