so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I love you. Go after that dick
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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