So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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