Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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