She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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