So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
