that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
