I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
