talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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