put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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