he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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