After last night, I could never be a politician.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize