: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
