Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
