i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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