and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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