Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It was like getting head from an anaconda
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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