is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
