i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
