You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
