dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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