She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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