The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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