Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
