And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
