Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
