I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
