there's paper in my vomit.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
