My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
