We're facebook friends in real life
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
