I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
