Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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